Hello, Reclaimers,

I'm still on my annual winter break, which has reminded me that when we free up our time from one thing, it's easy to fill it up with something else if you're not intentional with that time.

It's why I hear from people who say they need a holiday to recover from the holiday because they used their "time off" to do all the stuff they don't usually have time to do, which isn't time off.

When I reflect on these breaks, I recognise that given that I'm self-employed, these periods are really about me slowing down significantly and cutting back on yeses. Sometimes that's to other people's stuff, and often, that's to my own expectations and ideas about how I can use my time.

Last week, for instance, it felt like I could be doing All The Things in service of promoting the launch of my book, The Joy of Saying No, in the U.S. and Canada. But I didn't.

Don't get me wrong, I did some things, of course, but I did a lot less because the book will be out for longer than a day or a week. I just don't have it in me to pressure myself or to be hoeing myself out online left, right and centre!

Truthfully, I was pooped. I was in bed between 7.30-9 and fast asleep by 9.30 on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I needed time to process.

Something I know to be true, also, is that when we slow down, we get to recognise how 'busy' our nervous system is. I suspect that publication date set some of the underlying anxiety that accompanies such events.

And so I'm being as slow as I can given that I have pockets of interviews and whatnot for the book.

Even though you might not be able to take a break, you can still be slower.

For me, that means pottering, super early nights, reading, time outdoors when this flippin' rain backs off, quiet and solo time, breathing exercises, hanging with Em and the girls (we're obsessed with BBC's The Traitors), and so forth. This stuff takes a bit of a hit when I have too much going on. Recaliberating is not just about doing these in slower times but factoring them back into day-to-day life.

You can be more intentional with how you spend your bandwidth. There's no need to wait until you're wiped out or on a break or holiday. You can also, and this does take trial and error, get a feel for what you need from yourself to support not being at your idea of "full speed."

Being slower, ultimately, gives you a bit of room to see and hear yourself more clearly.

Until next time, take care of you,

Natalie x

P.S. Here are a few recent interviews I've done.

I chatted with Shondaland about my recovering people pleaser journey, and I chatted with Jené from Hello Giggles on her Visible Panty Lines podcast about New Year, New No and who's "allowed" to say no and who isn't.

Over on This Could Work, I talked about why people pleasing is lying.

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Upcoming Events

19th January | The Writers' Salon | Setting Boundaries in Your Creative Life Q&A

23rd January | Shelf Help (v. cool self-help book club)|A Workshop on Boundaries and Emotional Baggage

8th February | Adventures in Marketing | I'm a speaker at this one-day event in Edinburgh, Scotland, about celebrating the fun and exciting parts of marketing.

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PRAISE FOR THE JOY OF SAYING NO

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“With her unrivalled insight into the ways of people pleasing, Natalie Lue nails the reasons why we continually say yes and gives us permission not to. Enjoy the joy of saying NO, relieved of guilt or obligation. Freedom awaits.”

Susanna Reid, host of ITV's Good Morning Britain

“After reading The Joy of Saying No, I will never say yes out of guilt again. I feel empowered now to say yes when the situation and opportunity are in alignment with my heart and path. I feel lighter and more aligned as a result.”

Sylvester McNutt, bestselling author of Care Package

Order The Joy of Saying No from your favourite bookseller.