Hi! I'm Natalie Lue

Maybe we don't have to judge our or other people's confidence levels so much

published2 months ago
1 min read

Hello Reclaimers,

The first argument I ever had with Em was on the way home from a party. I thought he’d given me a “funny look” that translated, in my mind, to him being “like all the other guys” by judging me for having a good time. It turns out, I was wrong. 👀

It was the first time he’d seen me leap up out of my seat and start Michael Jackson dancing in the middle of a room. If it happened now, he probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid or might even roll his eyes laughing. Back then, though, he was surprised. He hadn’t seen that side of me and was fascinated.

People often get the impression that I’m “shy” or “quiet”. I can be. I take a while to warm up in certain contexts, and I’ve also reached a stage in life where I’m aware enough of my insecurities and where my baggage comes up that I don’t tend to operate from that place. I don’t try to dominate and be the Best, but I’m also mindful of where anxiety can play out as me hiding or feeling like an outsider.

Some might see me as shy and quiet at times, and I’m also sometimes the loudest in the room or the one doing 90s dance routines. Sometimes I’m confident, and sometimes, I have a wobble.

Today’s blog post is about why we don’t need to judge our own or other people’s confidence levels so much, including why we don’t need to take it so personally if a partner or loved one isn’t confident despite how well we treat them and why we have to be careful of playing roles and making assumptions.


"Often our doubts are about us questioning whether we have the identity to do something. What we think we can’t do and what we actually can’t do are two very different things."

- Nat Lue

On The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast

If you haven't caught up with my most recent episode yet (#257), it's about why we lose our tempers and how not to find ourselves erupting (or learn from it when we do).


Wahala by Nikki May

Ever had a new person join your friendship group only for friction to abound or felt as if a friend stole your group of friends from you? Or have you felt perplexed as to why cracks are forming in your longstanding friendships? If so, you'll be able to hard relate to Wahala, a novel about three English-Nigerian friends in their thirties and what happens when one welcomes a glamourous friend from her distant past into the group.

Until next time, take care of you,

Natalie x