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Hi! I'm Natalie Lue

Making decisions that honour our needs, not everyone's approval, is okay

publishedabout 1 month ago
2 min read

Hello, Reclaimers,

Part of listening to and getting to know yourself is discerning which choices you want to make.

Of course, even when we have a sense that we need or want to do something and are aware of the decision it involves, we can struggle to make and follow through on it.

There are some decisions I find pretty easy to make. I might hear 'Hard pass!' in my head or, it just feels like a no-brainer to go ahead. Sometimes I jump right on things.

But there are other decisions, and they're not necessarily big ones, where I'll sit on them for a while for one reason or another.

Typically, it's because I'm wrestling, on some level, with my own expectations. I am a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist, after all, and established 'norms' and 'rules' make a part of me go, But is it okay that I want to do something else?

When I eventually make the decision, it's because I've paid increasing attention to the niggles and gained further clarity along the way.

And then once I decide and say it out loud or go ahead and do the thing, I wonder what the hell took me so long!

In the current episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast, I share what I learned from making a recent decision and the importance of doing things from a place of desire instead of obligation.

It turns out that paying attention to our 'shoulds' helps us identify where we can make decisions that leave us feeling good about ourselves.


WORDS TO LIVE BY

Any person who expects you to destroy your well-being to meet their needs, expectations and desires is not someone who has your best interests at heart.

- Nat Lue


ON THE BLOG: When is it 'okay' to sleep with someone? You decide, not the fake rules or shoulds.

Over the years, I've received so many questions from people who essentially want a magic formula for dating, especially around the whole question of when or whether to sleep with someone. I explain why these so-called rules don't work and cause more problems than they solve.


The Self-Soothing Sessions

Enjoy 40% off my audio sessions

If you enjoy listening to the podcast, check out my sessions. These are my 45-90 minute audio series that coach you through changing your relationship with something that currently impacts your self-esteem and your ability to know and take care of yourself. The latest addition is The Self-Soothing Sessions, ideal if stress tends to trigger you into frustrating and painful patterns. Check it and my other sessions out, and enjoy an exclusive 40% off.


THIS WEEK'S READS & LISTENS

Instead of a book, I've got a few interesting links that feature great advice.

Don't Surround Yourself With Admirers "Mutual admiration is the mark of what Aristotle would call a 'perfect friendship.' But collecting friends who admire you more than vice versa—especially for your status, money, or looks—is good for neither happiness nor becoming a better person."

It's Time To Stop Romanticising The One That Got Away "I’m not thinking of him but this made up version of him. Not something we built together, but something I’ve made up in my head when I’ve zoned out of the podcast I was listening to, when my head’s against my pillow at night."

Writerly Perseverance and Knowing When To Give Up “You must never give up on writing itself. But sometimes you need to give up on what you’re writing.”-- I love this piece of advice. Swap writing for love, relationships, yourself and it could be, for example, giving up on chasing Mr/Miss Unavailables.

Until next time, take care of you,

Natalie x